Yesterday, a talented author died. I never met her, nor have I read any of books, yet I broke down and cried. I cried as I read excerpts of her work. Including her ominous last blog post pertaining to lamenting. I cried reading tributes from her family and friends about her life and influence. I cried because I know the feeling of loss.
This isn’t the first time I’ve been so impacted by a death in recent weeks. A friend of mine lost their brother to a brief illness. My voice trembled when I relayed this news to my husband. A person I have never met; gone too soon. I cried because I know the feeling of uncertainty.
On March 7th, my little brother, was diagnosed with leukemia.
So, to say my heart and mind are all over the place at this time is an understatement. I’ve taken a lot of walks. I’ve questioned Creation and have had doubts. Lots of doubts. How could this be happening NOW?
As you can tell, this is not a post about food, but a post about life. I owe it to you to be transparent about that. I have cultivated a habit of covering up spilling my heart, thus covering up the crappy parts of life. And you know, that’s not fair. Life happens.
Some may think this isn’t the place for that. That it’s not acceptable. I believe vulnerability is the ability to connect when things are not “okay.” And today, that’s what I needed to do.
As of today, my brother is getting treatment at one of the world’s top treatment centers as he plans to walk at high school graduation at the end of the month. He’s been accepted to numerous colleges and plans to attend one next Spring. He’s not dying. His labs continue to improve and astound the medical staff each day.
Although this is hard, unfair, and filled with unknown, this has also given us a reason to live each day fully and intentionally. Reason to appreciate every conversation and laugh. My brother is strong and this diagnosis is nothing more than a speed bump not a stop sign in his life plans.
It’s gonna be okay.