Lauren and CJ’s Wedding, May 17, 2014.
To put it lightly, November turned my world upside down. 17 days ago, I received the worse message I could ever imagine. My friend, Lauren, and her husband, CJ, were involved in a terrible accident. Neither of them survived.
Up until then, I can’t say I have ever experienced heartache to this capacity. Still in the days following, I’m trying to make any type of sense from these broken pieces.
I’ve sat and asked God in hundreds of ways, “How can this be happening to ME?”
I’ve struggled with selfish thoughts of, “Why couldn’t this be anyone else?”
This year, I have made an effort to jot down Good Things that have happened to me this year in the back of my daily planner. This month was no exception. Although, after the accident, I found myself writing the word “nothing,” for the month of November. How could anything good come from this awful event in MY life?
Dinner with Lauren and CJ at Blue Sushi. I introduced them to this restaurant and they were both hooked. Lauren decided to have her birthday dinner at Blue a few weeks later.
Lauren and I had been planning dinner for weeks. In between my internship and her softball schedule, we finally had a chance to enjoy dinner with Bella. CJ was so sweet to make dinner for us before he had to go to class.
Today, I don’t know why this happened. I can guarantee you that I won’t know the answer to this tomorrow, nor the next day.
Many times I have said, “my comfort comes from knowing they are with my Savior.” I believe with all my heart this is true. This eases some of the pain. Some of it, for now that is.
After losing a friend, some of the thoughts of I “Shoulda, woulda, coulda” begin to flood your mind. To the point that many waking moments are filled with them. It’s so difficult when there seems to be no answer.
The church was packed at the memorial service for Lauren and CJ. People gathered from far and wide (as far as Chile), to pay their respects to my friends.
I was overwhelmed with tears seeing how many people they touched in the short amount of time we had with them on Earth.
One pastor spoke about how fragile life is and how it can be gone like a vapor in the wind.
Seeing what Lauren and CJ accomplished as far as leading people to Christ through their actions and relationships, the pastor said something that will forever change me- “If you don’t like the way you’re living, you can change it, today.”
You have one life, are you living it well?
Lauren and CJ radiated love in everything that they did. It’s difficult for me to even think back of my friendship with Lauren before CJ, even though I’ve known Lauren and her family for many years.
As of now, all I have left are memories of Lauren and CJ. Times we laughed until our stomachs hurt, prayed together, and sometimes even cried together. Heart to heart discussions about life and living. Conversations about plans for the future, and the paths to get there.
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
Until we meet again.
Please keep the Davis and Benthall Family in your prayers.
Be kind, be gentle.
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Revelation 21:4